i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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