A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i came on her dog
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
