But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
