I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
worst night to have a conscience
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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