FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
