in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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