I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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