Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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