All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
