Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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