yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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