Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
