LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
