I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
