3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
