Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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