What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
