Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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