I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
