peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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