If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
