So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
