My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
