Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
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I need you to use more vowels.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
