Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
