your thong is hanging out like whoa
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
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I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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