i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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