somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
