maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
