Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room

(810): View more from Michigan

Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this

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(586): View more from Michigan

theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

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(909): View more from California

Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.

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(678): View more from Georgia

So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving

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These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick

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(804): View more from Virginia

My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.

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