i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.