Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it

(919): View more from North Carolina

Are you talking about my vagina?

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(360): View more from Washington

I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.

(1-360): View more from Washington

That changes everything.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.

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(707): View more from California

I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.

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(360): View more from Washington

Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.

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(727): View more from Florida

One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.

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