he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.