I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
