I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
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There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
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I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.