My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.