Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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