Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
