Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
