OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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