i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sext me about skeletons
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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