doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
