So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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