yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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