I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Boobs are out for the taking
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
