I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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