Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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