She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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