it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
