she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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