So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
