She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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