I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
