When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
