We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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