how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
