I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
