once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
