She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize