walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
