Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
