it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
