so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
