it hurts more in the daytime
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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