I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
